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missing reality

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hello Sep. 24th, 2007 @ 05:15 pm

just wanted to say hello to the livejournal crowd. whats up?


mmmm Oct. 20th, 2005 @ 11:11 pm
i am now the potentially productive. its amazing!!!

i start next week hopefully.. and then.. jobs.. and moneys... and.. a sense of purpose. its great.

applebees... i will be your host for the evening.
Current Mood: chipperchipper

just a sneeze.. wont come out Oct. 15th, 2005 @ 02:06 am
its happening again... i feel it come on slowly.. soon quickly, a steady pace. makes my chest hurt a little.. funny thing..

i see signs of it on my body, feel the difference.

strange yet, wonderful., however icky.

ode to all who ever felt amazing and horrible all at the same time, at the same thing.

my life is different, maybe it changed yesterday, a moment ago, a week, however, it is, i am, different,. i will never be that again. i am nearly glad for it. perhaps peace shall feel so inclined.
Current Mood: groggygroggy

Oct. 6th, 2005 @ 02:52 pm
if numbness were an indication

this would only be the beginning of my worries. Oct. 4th, 2005 @ 01:02 am
we all make decisions, everyday, some big, some small, but all ultimately will effect the rest of our lives. some more than others of course..

i worry, will i choose correctly this time? am i better off even if it doesnt go as planned?

i have more than one reason to be scared.

this is a big one.

ive cried before, and i am sure i havent seen the last.

hope perhaps.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Other entries
» i've seen it before, it happens all the time...
wow... never wanted to feel quit like this, but everything in life is an experience.. right? we grow.. learn.. yadda.

i have to water the flowers.
» with swollen eyes...
i am really the only one that can fuck things up... me myself..

and then saddness...

then refusal....

mom tries to help, only makes it worse, cant see that nows not the time.
» hmm
i got a job that i dont actually want.. but hopefully i will get the job that i do, almost despratly, want. i am going in again tomorrow for that one. i really hope i get it. that would make me happy, life rosey and all that jazz....

but, i always have the job that i dont want if the other doesnt work out. i had to take a pee test today.. see if i am on drugs. mmm... drugs. i had to lock my purse in this little box.. in case i was using someone elses.. (thats what the fake boobs are for... daaa.. bet the never check there).

sorry.. bored... i think i am going to go read now.
» i am slowly lossing my need for the internet
i never actually do anything on here, yet i have the compution to check it every day or two,. sometimes twice a day.

i never have any e-mail,
no one ever uses livejournal anymore,.
no one leaves me messages anymore...
no one uses aim anymore.. cant remember the last time i had a conversation on there,.. i have kinda given up.

i am trying really hard to be some sort of sad, if even nostalgic,. but its not really working for me.

hmm... weird.. did we all come up with some sort of less imaginary lives? is that what happened?


i might have a job! not sure yet,. we will see, fingers crossed.
» !!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jordan,. you would be proud,.. its a ford!!

99' escort... it was cheap... but.. its nice enough...

i can drive i can drive i can drive!!!! ( imagine that to the tune of i can fly from peter pan.)

glorious day...
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